Q&A: I'm 10 & I'm Non-Binary
If you follow Tiny Bangs on Instagram, you might have caught Naomi's coming out as non-binary. Not only is this a big step for them, it might also be confusing for some of our audience so they agreed to sit down and answer questions from you. This is how it went.
What is non-binary?
Non-binary or genderqueer means that you don't don't identify as a binary gender like boy or girl. Gender is weird and I think it's kind of made up so people can fit you into one box or another, but there's so many more options than that. It's boring.
What are your pronouns?
My pronouns are they/them. I've heard people go by Ze too, but I think it's easier for people to learn they. It feels right to me.
Aren't you a little young to decide your identity?
NO! You can never be too young to decide who you are. For me, I've always felt this way and it took a lot of soul searching and finding the right words to describe it to others. I hate when people don't respect kids. They're people too.
How did you know what non-binary meant? Is there anything about how you were raised that helped your self discovery?
It's something that I've been dealing with for awhile. It was hard trying to wrap my head around it and accept it. My family is very loving and open-minded and we have lots of friends who are gay, trans, and everything else so gender has been brought up and discussed, but not like, forced if that makes sense? Growing up like that made me feel more comfortable telling my mom. I told her I didn't feel like a girl or boy and she asked me if I might be non-binary. I watched some YouTube videos and it clicked for me. I also really love this singer named Dorian Electra because I watched a makeup video they did and I really related to how they were kind of girly, kind of manly, and just overall cool and confident. I felt like I was looking at myself.
Would you be bothered if someone called you she/her?
It would hurt my feelings. It's like if you told me who you are and how much it meant to you and I disrespected that. It's not nice and it makes me feel not safe or listened to.
How has your family responded? Is your sister Anni adjusting?
I don't know why, but I was kind of scared to tell them even though I knew they wouldn't be mad. I told my mom first and she hugged me. My dad is more quiet, but he told me he just wants me to be who I am. Anni still calls me sister but she's getting better at just calling me her sibling. I don't get too frustrated though. I love her.
How have your friends and peers reacted?
It's still pretty new. I told my mom to tell people on Tiny Bangs first because they seem really nice. Everyone was supportive which helped my confidence. I'm out of school for summer so my classmates don't know yet. I think my friends love me and will understand. I'm worried about teachers and people who don't know me well.
What would you do if someone doesn't like who you are?
I'll tell them to fuck off.
Do you think you'll change your appearance? What about your name?
I still look like a girl I guess to everyone else and I like wearing makeup and skirts, but I've also always liked to look tough like wearing flames and spikes. I don't think that will change much. I do want to shave the side of my head and maybe dye the shaved part black. Maybe get second ear piercings on each ear. Those are things I was planning on anyway. I like the name Naomi. My mom said the inspiration behind my name was this really cool, strong supermodel and I think that's perfect. I don't know very many other Naomis so I guess I don't see it as a girl name. I don't think anything you do as a non-binary person makes you more or less non-binary. It's different for everyone.
Do you feel more like a girl or a boy or neither?
I learned about being gender fluid recently which is similar to non-binary except somedays you feel like a girl and somedays like a boy, it just depends. I don't identify with either, but I like things people say are only for boys or girls. It doesn't really matter because I think I should be able to like whatever I like. It doesn't change the fact that deep inside, I'm neither.
How did it feel to come out?
Like a big weight off my shoulders. It caused me a lot of anxiety, I'd stay up really late some nights, and bite my nails. I feel more relaxed. I feel like laughing a lot because I feel so light. I wish I would've said something earlier.
Comments
Catherine
December 01 2019
Veronica
August 26 2019
Kids can be cruel. In kindergarten my daughter was asked “Eew why do u dress like a boy?” Or “why do u look like a boy?” her answer was “Because I’m UNIQUE”. The boys love her! They say “she’s not like the other girls, she’s different, she’s cool & she’s not a cry baby”lol. So much respect for u Naomi! You have wonderful parents & so many people that got your back. Keep ur head up & stay strong 💪
unikittyricrcake192
August 14 2019
Naomi you are beautiful don’t let everyone tell you are not there is going to be mean people sometimes but they will be jealous,life is a roller coasters there’s up and downs it can be ruff or it could be gentle but sit down and enjoy the ride xox 💕💕💕
Lana
July 26 2019
You are so amazing Naomi!!! I’m non binary as well and I wish I’d come out when I was 10, it’s so incredible how supportive your family is and I’m so happy for you that you feel a weight has been lifted for you 🥰 Best of luck in the future with tiny bangs and your life! You’re gonna have an amazing time Naomi, the future is bright! 😊💞
Alex
July 16 2019
This is so rad. Super proud of you for expressing who you truly are as a person and realizing you don’t have to be a certain age to say it. Hopefully this will help other kiddos dealing with these thoughts or something of the similar. 10/10!
Faith
July 16 2019
For someone who is ten years old you’re pretty smart. I admire that a lot and I really hope you continue to discover more about who you are how you can stand out in the world in the future. Not many kids have the guts to do this kind of stuff so for that you’re pretty brave as well 💕 keep being you and expressing yourself however you want, you rock!
Alison
July 15 2019
You rock, Naomi! You’re a wise soul. Keep being you, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
Xx
Tilly
July 15 2019
You’re such a superstar Naomi! You and your sister are so inspirational and I will forever admire you both for your confidence, style and attitude. Congratulations, you have an army behind you and it’s reassuring for us all knowing you are the future of a more accepting, diverse and colourful world! 🏳️🌈
Ana
July 15 2019
I almost got into tears reading your story, your beliefs, your loving family and your loving self!! As a non-binary fellow that came out not so long ago I still feel insecure about telling it to my family, even if they were the closest ones seeing me growing up aside from the two genders. I know they’ll love my truth, but it’s such a big one in our souls!! So proud of you Naomi, you’re the coolest!!
Ana
July 15 2019
I almost got into tears reading your story, your beliefs, your loving family and your loving self!! As a non-binary fellow that came out not so long ago I still feel insecure about telling it to my family, even if they were the closest ones seeing me growing up aside from the two genders. I know they’ll love my truth, but it’s such a big one in our souls!! So proud of you Naomi, you’re the coolest!!
Sydni
July 15 2019
What a wonderful interview!
Naomi, you are such a powerful and sweet person. This is very educational for many people out there who don’t even know what non-binary is. You have opened the door for other parents and children to have an understand of feeling different from what society says you should be, think or be labeled as. You have a wonderful support group in your family. I love everything you guys do and I hope to shake your hand one day. Much love to you💖 Sydni
Kate
July 15 2019
It makes me so happy that you were raised in a way that your parents enabled you to understand how you felt so you felt safe coming out.
I feel a lot of people know when they’re quite young that they’re LGBT+ but just see it as something wrong, or don’t understand it. Knowing that there are more parents now that listen and learn and teach; that makes me happier than you know.
Linda
July 15 2019
Sending support, love and hugs. All the way from Sweden! You rock! ❤️🤸🏼♀️
Phoenix Black
July 13 2019
Wowowowow! Just know that if anyone gives you shit, you have a whole tiny bangs army behind you! You’re not alone love, no one is.
Yael
July 13 2019
Congrats on coming out, Naomi! The world is ready for non-binary kids! So glad you exist in this world, you magical human 🖤🖤🖤
amber
July 13 2019
I love this so much, I was that age when I realized I liked boys AND girls. i’m so proud of you for coming out!!! I didnt end up coming out until I was 16, i’m happy to see kids coming out more and more and being loved. you are going to be a role model for other people!
Jessi king
July 13 2019
I know you dont know me and I dont know you, but as a mom, I am SO PROUD OF YOU!!!!! I’m 31 and I wish I had somebody like you to look up to when I was a kid. I can relate to so much of what you’re saying! As do plenty of other people, I’m sure. You’re such an awesome role model for kids and adults, too! Thank you for being you!!
Kai
July 13 2019
You are so loved! And I support you 100%
Terri DeLong
July 13 2019
This is the absolute sweetest thing I’ve read in awhile! What an amazing little person you are!
justine
July 13 2019
congratulations on coming out as non-binary, Naomi! you’re so brave and cool !
Comments
23 Comments